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T-Day is Almost Here: What Do We Have To Be Thankful For?

For some families, taking turns at the Thanksgiving table to recite "Thankfuls" is mandatory before heaping food onto the plate.In other families, dysfunctional ones for the most part, everyone is wearing a pretend smile and feeling sorry for themselves that they're stuck with this bunch of pain-in-the-asses. Which family are you in? That's for you to figure out. I'm in a group that's getting more popular as we age. Both my and my spouse's parents are deceased and no sibling or cousin lives nearby. And we don't fly on T-Day. Just the thought of standing on all the lines and pushing my way through cold, rainy weather sends chills down my spine. So we will eat alone. But don't feel sorry for us. We've got the pets and Netflix, which has truly become the number one distraction among boomers and millennials. It's definitely therapeutic to list a few thankfuls at the T-Day table. For nervous, anxious, or depressive people, it's a great op…

If I Were a Lesbian

Sometimes it seems like everyone's a lesbian but me. Once I heard that only 5 percent of the population are homosexual, but I have my doubts. A lot of people still are in the closet so they don't become a part of the statistics. That's why I think there's way more lesbians around than anyone knows. And I kinda envy them. Just a little. That's because most of the celebrities I day dream about are women. My favorite all-time celeb is Sally Field. I know, I know, The Flying Num girl. But the woman can act. And not only that, she gave up Burt Reynolds for the sake of her sanity. I could picture Sally and me going out for the evening and suddenly she becomes one of her other personalities like she did in the movie/book Sibyl. I'd make scintillating conversation with one or two of her personalities and then we'd talk about the California fire and if it impacted her house. We'd sit real close together on the bench she shared with Tom Hanks in the movie Forres…

The One Thing I Don't Regret

For perfectionistic souls like myself, there are past events that I regret. One is high school and the amount of studying I did. A waste, tiresome, boring and something that I was psychologically programmed to do. I could not NOT work hard. It was like an axe was hanging over my head, and I had to do whatever it took to hand in an A-plus job. It was a cross that I had to bear or to use another metaphor, I had been given lemons. So I made super duper gallons of lemonade all through college and graduate school. I graduated with a high GPA, but I always wondered if I could have achieved the same honor with less work. I remember enjoying very little of the grind. I hated memorizing facts for exams and felt more comfortable writing papers, researching stuff and churning out original lesson plans, self-evaluations and other useless crap. Little time for the dating dance. It wasn't just the lack of guys in my life that I regret. It was also the lack of FUN. For amusement and diversion…

Food Fetishes

I don't know if I really have food fetishes, but I do admit to a large number of exclusions in my current diet. When you compare what I used to consume ten years ago with what I consume now, "radical" is the best word to describe the change.

As a fully mature adult, I basically ate anything. Oh there were a few exclusions--for example, avocados and sardines. I know those green veggies are supposed to be healthy but nothing on God's earth will convince me that shoving that greasy mess down my throat will make me heart attack resistant. I can't stand the color, the texture and the consistency of avocados so if I find one that had the audacity to  appear in something I ordered, I just throw it out. Well, not literally. I don't believe in tossing food on the floor like a baby in a highchair, but napkins will do for relocating the avocado. Or else there's always my husband, who'll eat anything except mayonnaise.

What else did I not eat a few years back? No…

Dear Abby: Have I Got a Problem for You!

Dear Abby,

I'm not much for consulting newspaper columnists about relationships, but I'm up against a wall. I don't know if I should do anything or not, and if action is the correct response, then what action should I take?. Perhaps you need to know all the details first, and then you can yell at me.

My friend's daughter is a psychologist with a doctoral degree. She works in NYC. She's in her early thirties and a stunner. So she is not in any way hard up for dates. Her older sister, who is married, tells me that her younger sister has a habit of on-again-off-again relationships with men. I was not aware of this behavior, and frankly I'm surprised since she seems like such a smart, well-grounded person.

Now she has announced that she's engaged, but the man whom she intends to marry really does not want to get married. Her sister said, "He asked her what it would take for them to stay together, and she said marriage. So she kinda backed him into a corner…

My Cat is a Klutz

I used to think he would grow out of it. That he was going through a developmental stage--an adolescent time of awkwardness when all four limbs weren't working harmoniously. I thought that explained his sometime clumsy failure to successfully complete a jump onto a garbage can or some other object a distance away.

Now he's definitely an adult. A very mischievous, playful feline who doesn't seem to reason things out completely before he commits to them. So he's still messing up occasionally on his jumps-- he's either stupid or gymnastically challenged. I've seen him hanging by his claws, dangling on a surface he didn't quite reach. Yeah, it's funny, but he's not laughing.

I've never had a cat so uncoordinated. Most of them when they're young and healthy have no problem with jumping everywhere. I've had cats jump on top of refrigerators, washers/dryers, kitchen counters, and all types of furniture. They usually do it gracefully with a touc…

Interview with an Only Child Friend

If you've been following my humor blog--and 614 of you out there in blogland are--you know that I define the Only Child friend as someone who, despite the fact they may have 17 siblings, still acts as if they're the only child in the family. This person is afflicted with Only Child Syndrome.Not the worst of the personality disorders, but certainly not the best.

 Well, today I got a dose of what passes for "friendship" in my world, and of course it was from someone with OCS.

My friend, who I'll call Susie, recently left two voice mail messages, so I knew I couldn't avoid communicating with her for long. The clock was ticking, and the longer the time gap, the fewer kind thoughts about me she could muster.

 For the past few months, I really haven't contacted Susie. The weather was hot so I didn't go bopping around with errands and lunches. Beside I was nursing my little black schnauzer and my depressive illness (of which Susie tends to make fun, e.g. &qu…