The Dysfunctional Family

Since I had concluded Ted was cheap, at least when it concerned me, I was prepared for his #inexpensive birthday gift. What I wasn't prepared for was the lack of imagination that went into the selection. #Stereotypes were popular fodder for Ted, so despite women's #liberation, birth control pills, and Ms. Magazine, Ted figured incorrectly that I would like a fancy compact. He might have bought it in a pharmacy or stolen it from one of his sisters, but in any case, it was not suited to my #lifestyle. I hardly expected a piece of jewelry, but a compact? I was lucky if I had a tube of lipstick at the bottom of my handbag. Later I threw it away. I not only associated it with loss, but I knew I'd never use the damn thing! The break-up had been in my sights long before it happened, so I can't say it was unanticipated. Regardless, it hit me hard, and I mourned Ted's absence more than I had mourned anything up to that point. I walked through my senior year at Kean College

Have you ever #dated or met someone you wanted to know better, but either the feeling wasn't reciprocated or logistics precluded the continuation of the #relationship? I have, and recently it's been cropping up in a not-so-great way at all times of the day and night.   Perhaps by writing the story for public #consumption I can accomplish two things: share a human reaction many people experience and purge the feeling once and for all. It's about a summer #romance and a guy, but you probably knew that already. A friend of the #family introduced us when I was 19 and he was about 26. (Let's call him Ted because I have neutral feelings about this particular name.) For me, Ted was the physical embodiment of all my fantasies of what a good-looking guy was. I always preferred the cute types to the #muscle-bound. Although his hair was already thinning a little and he didn't have the toned #physique of someone who worked out at the gym, I was charmed by his

My sister and I were not always #estranged, but we were always competitive although I was not usually aware of it. In hindsight I know now that my sister (who I'll call Sally because I don't like the name) felt insecure in the family for far different reasons than I did. While I never felt worthy enough, she was worried I might be too good and displace her Number 1 position. So she #indulged in  a tacit denial that she and I were related. She couldn't quite bring herself to admit that she had a younger sibling. I call this attitude #OnlyChild Syndrome, and I've mentioned it before. Sally had a bad case of it throughout life, and it led to fierce competition on her part. She got the best grades, was the best piano student, was the best religious scholar (rewarded by her #BatMitzvah at a Newark, NJ, venue known for excellence in food and catering), the best college student, the best lawyer's wife, the best mother, and, of course, the best daughter. Unfortunatel

When I reflect on my #trip to Orlando, I realized that I laughed and had the most fun at the off-script happenings. Oh, yeah, Disney's Epcot, The Animal Kingdom, and Hollywood Studios were #enjoyable, especially the Avatar at Pandora with all its virtual effects and #Beauty and the #Beast with all its sing-along music and dance, not to mention its over-the-top frilly costumes. But what really made the vacation fun was being with friends unafraid to show their true selves and thus reveal all the silly mistakes we humans make every day. Let me catalogue a few of the chuckles Rosa, George and I had during a week of living, eating, sleeping, and playing together. (Rosa and George are a #married couple I met in NJ during my mother's unfortunate stay in a nursing home.) 1. THE RAIN  From the minute I stepped off the plane, every meteorologist and forecaster  in the state of Florida predicted a deluge for the coming week. Something about a tropical storm or hurricane named A

If you're like me, sometime in some place an elementary school  teacher advised you that doing something dumb doesn't make you dumb; in other words, condemn the action, not the person. It made sense until you--or worse, someone working or living with you--caught you doing a series of dumb things. Then you began to worry and wonder as your self esteem dropped to a new low. An occasional #dumb action most people can get away with, but a series of stupid behaviors can actually erode your self confidence and transform you into a lesser version of yourself. That's what happened to me. Here in no particular order are the 10 #stupidest things I ever did: Once upon a time in neo-paleolithic times, I was out on the #dating scene scouring the earth for potential cavemen. I was teaching third grade at the time and pretty much hating it so I agreed to go to Florida with a few friends over winter vacation. As time went on, a few girls dropped out until finally it came down to me and

I decided a long time ago that #revenge was a natural response for me. #Anger aimed outward signified justice, fairness. Especially if my oppressor refused to apologize and accept responsibility. What other option was there? #Forgiveness? Letting the other guy off the hook when he/she does not feel that any transgression was committed? Doesn't make sense to yours truly. Well, I read a half dozen books on that subject and, frankly, I knew forgiveness wasn't a choice for me since I'm a spiritual atheist (which I define as someone who believes in absurd happenstance rather than a supreme being). You have to really bathe in selflessness to accept the idea of forgiveness, and I'm not into that. #Selflessness, that is.  It didn't help that my astrological sign is Libra, which emphasizes #fairness. I figure people should get what they deserve. I'm not proud of this philosophy, but I accept this as one of my most human flaws. Some people may call me bad or morally de

Anyone can have a #miserable vacation. It doesn't take much:  bad weather, altitude #sickness, food #poisoning, ratty hotel, the list goes on and on. And that's for norms--normal people with great expectations for an enjoyable holiday. Folks like me, your basic #dysfunctional neurotic, can have a total meltdown if even one thing goes wrong. Here's what happened to me once upon a time and here were my honest-to-goodness reactions: #California See Everything from San Francisco to Santa Barbara: My expectation was to see beaches everywhere I looked, but of course in #SanFrancisco they were basically non-existent. My husband tried to tell me that I was jumping the gun, but I insisted on calling our travel agent and giving her a hard time. "Why did you suggest this trip when you knew darn well I wanted to  be near the beach? I don't care about the sharks, the sea otters and the beautiful view of Alcatraz. I just want to rest and relax. John Muir what? I don't ca