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Ch. 29 What OCS Is Not

OCS is not the same as narcissism although the syndrome may bear a resemblance. Narcissism is not as comprehensive as OCS. OCS affects more than the person who has it. It extends to the people around you whether they are relatives, friends, colleagues or strangers whereas narcissism restricts itself to the affected person.

Also, OCS, as I stated previously, is not in any official medical tome. If you find it at all on the Internet, it will be described as those situations in which families actually have only one child. Experts may describe the pros and cons of being an only child such as not having to share a parent's attention or material possessions or lacking another person to act as caretaker when parents get older. Only Child syndrome, as we define it, refers to the mindset of a person rather than his or her lack of or number of siblings.

Another aspect of OCS that is unique is that it describes a syndrome that can affect a child or an adult. It is not limited to children. It's also not limited to relatives. OCS can be applied to any person you come in contact with who selfishly discounts others around him/her and has a need for control and manipulation. So if you hire a painter, for instance, to do the outside of your home and find that this person's choice of color is prohibited by the Home Owners Association, you better hope the painter is able to work out a compromise with the HOA. If not, you probably unwittingly hired an OCS person.

In the above case, you will probably need to intervene and explain to your painter that the HOA's decision trumps his choice of color. If he still gives you a hard time, your only option may be to get another painter--one who is not burdened with OCS.

Final Chapter: Forgiving the OCS Person

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