Skip to main content

Death is Never Funny, Especially If You're the Deathee

His name was Tulip, and he had a terminal, incurable disease. Some kind of a horrible cat virus called Feline Something. I've never been good about learning the names of killer diseases--unlike my sister who insisted she was plagued with a bunch of them all through college and those fun years when she was raising her kids. It forced her to give up her dream of becoming "Cherry Ames, RN," For those of you too young to remember Cherry Ames, she was a drop-dead gorgeous nurse in
 a series of young adult books in the '50s. My sister read all those books at least ten times, and
they motivated her to go to nursing school and become a cruise nurse, a school nurse, a corporate nurse and a bunch of other life-saving roles.

Obsessing about rare and incurable diseases distracted her from mapping out her career plans so  she had to table not only nursing school but all  other related health areas like phlebotomist and ear piercer. Just the sight of blood was enough to make her squeamish, and luckily she was a decent bicyclist who minimized bloody spills into cars and shrubbery. Otherwise she might have turned into a kind of martyr. And no one, especially a younger sibling, can compete with a martyr.

 It wasn't the impact of falling and possibly precipitating a concussion that scared her. It was all those oozing scabs with their crusty, yellowish coverings that really nauseated her and turned her stomach.
 Plus my parents told her in not so many words that if she were to become a nurse, they would not ante up the money for a pricey Ivy League education. And since my sister was going to college with the dual objectives of furthering her education and catching a rich husband, she quickly compromised  her career goals and decided to become a French language teacher.

Those were good years for both her and me. She concentrated on finding a suitably wealthy mate, and I didn't have to put up with sharing my bedroom with her. It wasn't as if she was a lousy roommate; it was more like she totally ignored me, never truly adjusting to the reality of having a younger sister. It wasn't her fault she was four years older than me. In those first four years of her charmed life, she had lobbied the parents for only child status and had nearly hit the mother load. But then along came me in that fourth year. I was a disappointment to everyone. My parents had wanted a boy and for the life of me I couldn't locate my penis, and my sister had wanted me dead, preferably as a three-month abortion or, if necessary, as the victim of a horribly-gone-wrong delivery where the doctor had mistaken me for the placenta and thrown me out with the
umbilical cord (this was before the time parents insisted on keeping umbilical cords so in case another child turned out to have a dreaded incurable disease, they could use the stem cells in the cord blood to miraculously cure the sick kid).

To say that I was a long-awaited and desired child might be exaggerating a trifle, at least on the part of my sister. It only took her 10 months to come up with a fool-proof plan that guaranteed to turn my parents against me for good. Picture this. I am in a crib cooing and drinking milk like any well-behaved baby when my sister dangles a Golden book in front of me. I look at her dimples, I smile at her sudden interest in me, and I grab the book with my two pudgy fists. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRip goes the Golden book and then about 99 others on the shelf. It was like an assembly line. She would
hand me each book and smile and nod at me, and I would tear them to shreds.
 She teased me with promises of playing scrabble with me when I got older and I fell for the trick. She wanted payment in advance, which was the destruction of her Golden Book library. Always precocious, she had tired of their predictable stories and wanted to move on to the hard stuff like Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. Of course it was inconceivable to her that my parents might want a hand-me-down library for their younger daughter, but just in case the idea occurred to them, it would never happen thanks to the Book Shredder's Ball, an event she denied being complicit in.

About then in my 10-month-old brain, I filed away what turned out to be the first of many efforts to destroy my credibility as an adorable younger daughter. If my sister had failed at her Only Child effort, she would not accept defeat. She would behave as if I had run away from home to join the circus and she was left to accept all the compliments and kisses that were my entitlements but somehow, like with a road detour, had been routed instead to her. She flourished under all that praise, and I grew into a sour moody child with nervous rashes and school phobia. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Around age seven I began to hope she would get that dreaded incurable disease she was always whining about, but it never, ever came to pass. Instead, I think she flipped it to Tulip, my baby ginger cat. She was that powerful in her control over my needs, wishes, and desires that I wouldn't have put it past her to wish an incurable disease on the rest of the family, which by then consisted of six schnauzers and a husband from his own dysfunctional family.
 I get the feeling you're going to laugh and say that despotic leadership
 would never happen. No one has that kind of mystical and malevolent power, but they said that about Hitler and now they're saying that about Trump. Poor Tulip, he never had a chance.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dogs and Cats: Tales that Strike Terror in the Hearts of Owners

I just returned from the #veterinarian with Maddie, my eight-year-old #schnauzer with valley fever. She's on a half dose of her meds, and we're seeing if this has any positive or negative influence on the course of the #disease. Valley fever is a plague in the Southwest, especially Arizona, and it's one of the crazier #fungal diseases out there. For instance, Maddie never showed any #discernible symptoms but when I chanced to test her for the disease, she showed a high titre. So either the test was really wrong-----about three times in a row--or else Maddie's immune system is so good that it's #clobbering the disease but not ridding the body of it. This is a long way of stating the obvious. Although dogs like Maddie as well as cats, miniature horses and even  bunnies are regularly being used as #therapy animals at nursing homes, hospitals, schools, and all kinds of venues, they also are capable of traumatizing people or just plain breaking their heart. Wai...

Should Old Acquaintances Be Forgot?

In the Scottish dialect of the old New Year's Eve song Auld Lang Syne, the composer posits the question: Should old acquaintances be forgot? The short answer to this is "Sometimes." One example will suffice. A "friend" of mine emailed me the other day and although she is not a writer, her words spoke plenty. Her first rebuke was that I don't answer her calls, and this is a claim I cannot deny. But the accusation was caustic, mean-spirited--it was as if I had neglected to visit her in the hospital, that's how grievous my omission was. She insinuated so much by those few harsh words. Why did she call? Purportedly to inform me of her physical status and that of her dog Murph. Being the obedient child I still am, I did call her afterwards, and we spoke. Mostly S spoke of her new illness--osteoarthritis of the spine--and her dog's possible diagnosis of valley fever. I listened and listened and listened until I just couldn't take it any more. The...

Part 12 OCS Sib: a Saga that Sucks

To refresh your mind, the last time we saw my sib (the OCS I've profiled here), everyone was celebrating my niece's wedding. I'm staying at my mom's condo, so I  hang out with her new friends, a couple about her age who recently moved into her residential community. As we talk, I gather a few more clues about my mom's physical and mental condition. She is now having problems telling time, and she calls up her new friends many times a day. The news isn't good. I fear the worst. Over the next few months Mom has to recuperate from a heart attack, and my sib and I agree that an assisted living facility should be the next move. Up to now the sib and I are more or less on the same page. Soon this change. When finances rear their ugly heads, I learn that somehow my sister has prevailed on my mother to sign over all her monies and house to my sister. All documents are now in my sib's name. The condo will be up for sale, and my sister has deposited my mom's inh...