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I Am Not Darren Arenofsky

I usually google my name on a regular basis--just to see if I've shown up in the obits--but lately, the geniuses at Google have misspelled and mistook me for Darren Aronofsky. That is the correct spelling of his name, and by all reports in the entertainment world, he is a star in the movie making sector. I'm not sure I've seen any of his films (the latest being "Mother," which got mixed reviews), but even though he's a celeb, I'm not happy being confused with him.

And it happens all the time on Google. It's really my husband's fault since I took his last name a million years back when we married. But little did I know then that anyone would choose to spell Arenofsky "Aronofsky," thus confusing all the little minds out there in googleland. I figured Arenofsky was hard enough of a challenge, so people would furrow their brows and concentrate on getting this right. And for a good two decades, they did get it right. But along came Darren Aronofsky and screwed up my flawless google record. I've thought about writing to the guy and asking him to call up the CEO of Google (I forget who it is) and make a fuss about the misspelling. He could do it and get away with it since he's part of the glitterati. If I did it, the employees at Google's helm would just laugh at my request, then put me on an indefinite hold,and continue to misspell it. Just for spite, they'd probably add a few more hits so that I might get even more frustrated.

So I'm going to let Darren handle this problem. My plan is to contact him on Twitter and tell him what's going on and would he please handle this mixup for me since I'm just a poor struggling writer with zero movie credits. What do you think? Or, as an alternative solution, I could try contacting him through Facebook or Instagram.

I'll let you know how this is working out for me in a few days. Worst-case scenario: he decides to make a movie out of this awkward confusion, and he asks me to star as the "e" to his "o." Let's see what happens. I can hardly wait!

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