Thank Heavens for Little Boys, Gigi

When I think back over the good times in my #life, I have to admit that many of them were #gifted by guys. No #surprise there, but worth mentioning, especially to those readers of the male persuasion and the gals who like or love them. Ladies: Give yourself an extra pat on the back if you're in such a #relationship. Here's a litany of the guys who stand out most in my #dysfunctional life. My #husband's partner, Greg, is the first good guy to come to mind. His #wisecracks and self-deprecating humor always enlivened any social occasion. We spent several Mother's Days and #Easters with him, and his polite #demeanor never failed to impress me. He had a wickedly dark side to his wit, however. Once in a while, he'd joke that "it was time for a good funeral." He meant he liked the energy of social interaction mixed with #storytelling. Greg managed to spread joy at many a somber gathering. Like Minnesota celeb Garrison Keillor, he'd stand at the podium and tell fun stories about the deceased until you couldn't help but laugh. Your mind might be saying that laughing wasn't the proper etiquette, but a grin would escape anyhow. So it was only just and proper that at his funeral, Greg's relatives tried to enliven a horribly sad gathering (Greg died in his early 50s of a massive stroke) with a medley of Greg-geared anecdotes. His spirit prevailed, and I, for one, gave thanks that Greg could inject a feeling of gaiety at his own #funeral. That's quite a trick, but then Greg was sort of a #magician. He transformed an uptight #Mormon into an urbane Duke University student and then morphed that same man into my husband's BFF. I also appreciate the male shrinks who guided me in the right direction. Not all of them were prizes, but one in particular got me through an especially difficult period when I was hospitalized for several months and angry at the world for my #OCD and accompanying #depression. This #gentleman soothed with his words as much as by his face. Extremely #handsome and always #compassionate, he was adored even by a sick pup of a young woman (me) who was hungry for hope and the need for TLC.Then there was the shrink who tried to help my father deal with his #dementia. A kind and gentle man, he counseled and comforted family members as much as he treated my dad. And I especially felt a connection with the shrink who recently put me onto #ketamine but had to bow out due to his own demons. These men balanced out some of the "wicked witches" I dealt with over the years. One NJ #psychologist, who I now think completely misdiagnosed me, conned me into going to her weekly group sessions. Every person there had a different malady--the only common thread was melancholia. I attended only a half-dozen sessions before I realized Lady Shrink didn't have a clue about me or my problems. When I called to officially fire her, she never wished me good luck or said anything that could conceivably pass as supportive. "You really should come up to group and tell them personally that you're leaving," she said in her stern official voice. This message left me with an emptiness I converted into self-blame. Now that I think about it, her solution to everything was textbook terrible. Another female psychologist, this one in #Arizona tried #hypnosis on me. I think she missed the memo on depression because lulling me into a calm state only made me sleepy but not less depressed. When I fired her, she also never wished me luck or helped me to find another therapeutic route. Instead she told me to return a paperback on behavioral cognitive therapy she had loaned me. Add cheap to her list of character defects. As a freelance writer, I've worked with many editors, and in general men are easier to deal with than women. One editor took a chance on me as a fledgling newspaper correspondent; another was kind enough to arrange a perk: a free ticket to hear Obama speak in Phoenix. The guys again balanced out some of the stunning offenses of women editors: those whose #reimbursement was never commensurate with their demands; those who changed just about every word you wrote; those who tried to see how many hoops you would jump through; and those who only criticized, never praised. Then there's the #miscellany of guys I dated. No, they weren't all charmers or even polite. (I especially remember the Columbia University student who blind dated me and was immediately turned off by my #academic #affiliation--sorry Snobby Guy, but the University of Pennsylvania gal you obviously would have preferred to date is my sister and she was already married.) Another guy boosted my spirits after a breakup. Aware of my propensity for #depression, he never brought up the split but tried instead to cheer me with music and #masculine charm. At one juncture in my life, I wanted desperately to breed my champion male schnauzer. Not one woman in my breed club would connect me to someone, but a member I hardly knew volunteered his time and, most of all, his female schnauzer. Little Maddie #birthed three boys and I kept them all--they were so cute and such pleasant reminders of a happy chapter in my life. I'd like to say there was a male teacher who inspired me to write, but I come up empty here, except for my husband. And although my father's #criticism and inability to express affection punctured many a dream I might have had of attending journalism school, I'll never forget the times he put an arm around me and showed me the warm person he might have been if he'd only let himself love openly. Even his dementia helped me become a little less of the cold-hearted daughter he had shaped. I #hugged him tightly on one occasion, promising to help him, and when his days grew short, I walked him in circles around the hospital, proud that I could do something to soothe his demons. I'm sure there's a man out there I haven't yet thanked, but when I win the National Book Award (ho-ho!) I'll try to make up for any omissions I may have made. And lastly, may I say thank heavens for the little boys in my life--schnauzers by the names of Ahab, Captain, Butch and Mork. May you live long lives and prosper.