While the wife is mulling over her marriage, she recognizes that her husband is an OCS adult. This syndrome has affected her marriage as well as her life choices and those of her children/...............
Her awareness of her husband's OCS gives her an advantage, and she depends on pre-emptive strikes to eliminate most of his worst behaviors. And now the children are adults who also have knowledge of their father's OCS status.
Who are these family members? Some of you may have already guessed correctly. These relatives are none other than my mother, father, OCS sister and myself. Although my mother knew my dad's potential for doing harm, as she grew older and more secure, she found coping ways to handle my dad. As a result, his behaviors were not as harmful as they might have been. For instance, when I had the chance to take a six-week summer trip to Europe, my dad said no initially. But my mom helped him understand that being away from family for a lengthy time was something that I needed to experience. She spoke up on my behalf, citing other benefits such as independence, socialization, and cultural exposure. The result? My dad actually loosened his hold on me, and I was able to enjoy the trip.
My mother decided to continue her marriage since she felt able to modify my dad's ways. Most of the damage I suffered resulted from my sib's influence. Her competitive actions mixed with my introverted personality turned me into a person with little confidence and poor coping skills. I don't blame her for my depression, however, since that tendency was genetically determined. Ironically I probably would have improved my mindset if I had been an only child. I'm only guessing here, but I believe that my failure to recognize the competition my sister exhibited (any opportunity she had) and counter it with some cognitive behavioral skills (such as recognizing my own assets) consigned me to a second-hand citizen role. Once I focused on her competition (at the late age of 45 when my dad was dying), I could then find ways to minimize its deleterious effects.
Next time: The Best Ways to Handle the OCS Sib
Her awareness of her husband's OCS gives her an advantage, and she depends on pre-emptive strikes to eliminate most of his worst behaviors. And now the children are adults who also have knowledge of their father's OCS status.
Who are these family members? Some of you may have already guessed correctly. These relatives are none other than my mother, father, OCS sister and myself. Although my mother knew my dad's potential for doing harm, as she grew older and more secure, she found coping ways to handle my dad. As a result, his behaviors were not as harmful as they might have been. For instance, when I had the chance to take a six-week summer trip to Europe, my dad said no initially. But my mom helped him understand that being away from family for a lengthy time was something that I needed to experience. She spoke up on my behalf, citing other benefits such as independence, socialization, and cultural exposure. The result? My dad actually loosened his hold on me, and I was able to enjoy the trip.
My mother decided to continue her marriage since she felt able to modify my dad's ways. Most of the damage I suffered resulted from my sib's influence. Her competitive actions mixed with my introverted personality turned me into a person with little confidence and poor coping skills. I don't blame her for my depression, however, since that tendency was genetically determined. Ironically I probably would have improved my mindset if I had been an only child. I'm only guessing here, but I believe that my failure to recognize the competition my sister exhibited (any opportunity she had) and counter it with some cognitive behavioral skills (such as recognizing my own assets) consigned me to a second-hand citizen role. Once I focused on her competition (at the late age of 45 when my dad was dying), I could then find ways to minimize its deleterious effects.
Next time: The Best Ways to Handle the OCS Sib
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