Until you recognize OCS in others, you are helpless to defend yourself against the tactics of children and/or adults conditioned to be Number One at all times. If you can't see it, you can't fix it.
As an aid to pinpointing symptoms, here's a look into the typical OCS personality. For one thing, the OCS infant rarely cries, whines or beats his fists in rage. He usually sleeps contentedly through the night, awakening in the morning with playful laughter as he or she gazes upward at pastel-colored butterfly mobiles hanging above his crib. This joyful behavior is intended to appeal to the parents' desire for an "easy" baby--one that makes few demands on parental time and contributes to the overall contentment of the household. The OCS baby laughs delightfully when given a bath or hair wash and is amenable to breast feeding or bottle. Easy to burp--he never hoards uncomfortable gases--the OCS baby never has colic and prefers to keep his food inside his stomach instead of spitting up.Thus the OCS child produces less dirty laundry for an already overworked mom and dad.
Unlike other babies, the OCS infant is never fussy when a stranger or relative picks him up or babysits him. His aim is perfection so he will gaze at others adoringly, giggle when newcomers shake a rattle or stuffed toy and smile beatifically when parents return from an evening out. Wet or dirty diaper? The OCS baby doesn't tolerate it for long. She will wrinkle up her nose and toss gently from side to side to indicate that she is due for a diaper change. If this does not take place within five or ten minutes, she may contort her adorable little face so as to appear ruddy with rage, but when cleansed, she returns to her smiling self and is ready for parental interaction such as tickling, lullabies and the ever-popular (among adults) throw-baby-high-in-the-air-and-catch routine that has long paved the way for wonderful memories of the child's first year.
In contrast the non-OCS baby will have many wakeful nights in which parents will tear their proverbial hair out trying to comfort their little one. This never works, and both child and parents remain frustrated, with a low level of disgust building up between the two parties. The normal or non-OCS baby will get bored easily and take apart his playpen or break a few nondestructible legos. He also will cry hysterically when parents leave the nursery and a baby sitter takes their place. Toilet training will be tough with the occasional "play with the poo-poo" games, leaving the parents smelly and disgusted and needing a whole lot of wet-ones.
When the OCS infant matures to toddlerhood, his parents may be amazed at his opinionated responses to stimuli. Although he always plays nice with other children in the sandbox or at preschool, he is particular about his appearance and opts for designer duds. Put a onesie from Walmart on him and he may well produce a raspberry. On the other hand, the OCS kindergartner rarely wastes time on temper tantrums or other negative bids for attention. If he has siblings, he blatantly ignores them, preferring solitary play to sibling games like "ring around the rosie" and "duck, duck goose." Her favorite book: "Nobody Asked Me If I Wanted a Little Sister;" favorite song:"My Heart Belongs to Daddy," and favorite movie: "Beauty and the Beastie Sibling."
Next time we will discuss the behavior of the older OCS (ages six to eleven). Stay tuned for more hard info on spotting OCS.
In the Scottish dialect of the old New Year's Eve song Auld Lang Syne, the composer posits the question: Should old acquaintances be forgot? The short answer to this is "Sometimes." One example will suffice. A "friend" of mine emailed me the other day and although she is not a writer, her words spoke plenty. Her first rebuke was that I don't answer her calls, and this is a claim I cannot deny. But the accusation was caustic, mean-spirited--it was as if I had neglected to visit her in the hospital, that's how grievous my omission was. She insinuated so much by those few harsh words. Why did she call? Purportedly to inform me of her physical status and that of her dog Murph. Being the obedient child I still am, I did call her afterwards, and we spoke. Mostly S spoke of her new illness--osteoarthritis of the spine--and her dog's possible diagnosis of valley fever. I listened and listened and listened until I just couldn't take it any more. The
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