Stupid Stuff I Don't Need to Know!

The holiday season is the time for lists: You make lists of gifts you need to give and ones you'd like to receive, you make lists of New Year's resolutions; and you make lists of future Christmas card recipients.

Truth is I don't make any of those lists. There's one list I do make but up to now I've never put into writing. It just floated aimlessly in my brain and once in a while pressed a few buttons and girded me into action.

Did you ever realize how much stuff is shoved in your face--stuff you don't need to know? Well, when I hear a fact that has absolutely no relevance in my life, I try to banish it from my mind. Usually I fail because once I hear something, it lingers. For a while. It filters into a brain lobe, curls up in my grey matter and sucks the life out of other data I'd like to store.

In retaliation for this gross negligence here are two lists. The first one is Crap that I Can Live Life Without Knowing; the second, "Stuff I want to Remember or would like to know."

Crap.....Knowing

1. Who Tiny Tim is and what he did to save the world from Rap music.

2. Why sweet potatoes are healthier than white ones.

3. Geometry--all of it!

4. Why Princess Diana was doomed from her first look at Prince Charles

5. Which snakes are poisonous (They all look evil to me, so I'm like beware!)

6. Everything about my DNA--(you can't change it yet, so why bother knowing?)

7. The health merits of margarine vs. butter vs. apple butter vs. lard (they all sound nauseating to me, so I'd rather go lite on the fats, except for cheese cake).
8. The fine points of sushi
9. How to wear your Girl Scout badges
10. The etiquette for behavior at funerals, viewings, shiva and other religious rites.

Stuff...Like to Know

1. The names of historical persons, celebs and people I've known for years.(a plea to save my brain from the plague of dementia)

2. Why I hate the people I hate.

3. How to unclog a toilet bowl

4. Recipes for favorite cookies and cakes (if I'm somehow stranded from a decent bakery)

5. The real reason all my teeth are jumping ship

6. How to tell instantly when someone is lying to you

7. Why every religion thinks they have The Answer

8. Who really killed JFK

9. The winning numbers fora Million Dollar Lottery wins

10. What my Dogs Think About in their Free Time

Care to add to my lists with your own bid for relevance or irrelevance?

Comments

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